Who likes conflict and dealing with difficult situations? I don't know anybody who does! That's why it's called difficult and why most people spend a lot of time and energy avoiding them, often without realizing it.
What would be possible if you could reclaim all of that time and energy, and funnel it productively? Unless you try it, you will never know.
This is what it is like to be "zapped":
One of my clients dreaded going into her job every day because she was working a five-day week and didn't have enough time with her family. As a result, she didn't feel fully engaged and productive at work. When I brought up talking with her boss about doing part-time work instead, she hadn't considered it as an option. She was not avoiding having the conversation - she didn't even realize that this was a possibility.
We discussed what the absolute worst case scenario would be: her boss could say no to her request and fire her. In our discussion, she decided that in this case she could just interview for other positions and make it clear that her goal was a part-time position.
Once she decided to talk with her employer, she felt energized and excited for the first time in a long time. All of her zapped energy suddenly came back to her and actually helped her move forward.
The very next morning, she talked with her boss. And imagine this: He was all for helping her live a balanced life so that her time spent at work could be energized, focused, creative and productive. She is now enjoying the flexibility and reduced work schedule she needs to be happy at the office and fulfilled with her family at home.
Where are you zapped?
Think about a situation that is bothering you. What if you could do something about it?
* What is holding you back right now?
* What is the worst-case scenario?
* What if the worst-case scenario were to arise? How would you deal with it?
* What opportunities are you missing because of your avoidance? Can you honestly afford to avoid this issue?
* Put together an action plan and take your first action step. Don't put it off. Do it today.
The other party probably doesn't even know that you are suffering, and unless you act, they will never know. You may not have thought of this, but you are actually doing them a favor. Now they can help you create a better situation - for yourself and for them. Stop being zapped and start to act!
Julia James, CPCC, PCC, M.Sc. is a multi-lingual certified life coach, award-winning author and
international speaker. She helps busy professionals around the world achieve balance in their lives through individual coaching and workshops. Author of the book, The Mini-Retreat Solution and the audio CD series, Guided Mini-Retreats for Busy People, she provides tools to manage stress effectively and to relax and re-energize quickly. Julia has been featured on Joy TV, CBC News, as well as in The Globe & Mail, Glow Magazine, BC Business Magazine and The Vancouver Observer. For more information visit: www.juliajames.ca