Annie Lennox sang, "Would I lie to you?" But I'm asking, "Would you lie to yourself?" Many people will respond quickly, saying, "that's silly", but I've met people who consistently lie to themselves, deceiving themselves with false notions of who they are.
Why would anyone do this? Well, I think it's a coping technique, to help them deal with the huge gap they perceive between who they want to be and who they really are.
Rather than face the pain of recognizing they aren't who they would like to be, and doing the work of changing themselves, some people just lie to themselves until they (mostly) believe their own lies.
I say mostly because deep down inside, there is a part of them that knows the truth...but they rarely are able to face it or admit it, even to themselves. It's much easier to keep pretending that the lies are true...even in the face of evidence to the contrary.
Perhaps you've met one of these people? It might look like this: You meet someone who sounds incredible, almost too good to be true. Your connection starts out amazingly and things are just wonderful. Then as time passes you begin to notice some things that just don't fit.
The person occasionally says something that doesn't fit with who you thought they were (based
on how they presented themselves to you in the beginning). Or they respond to a situation totally differently than they have in the past...and when you ask about it, they explain it away as an anomaly (and they blame the unusual situation or some other person for their reaction).
Eventually, if you stay in connection with this type of person long enough, you will begin to experience their true self emerge. Their reactions, comments, etc. will begin to be authentic and you will see a whole different side to them than what you first saw when you met.
What's interesting about this person is that when you ask them about their changed behavior, they will deny that they are any different. They will insist that they are the same as when you met - that in fact, it is YOU that has changed.
If you stay in connection with them longer, you may start to feel like you're going crazy - for this behavior is the definition of "crazy-making". What they do and what they say will not mesh, and you are left scratching your head, wondering what happened to that amazing person you thought you met.
How you choose to handle this is up to you, but in my life, I've found that this person is so afraid to face themselves, that no amount of love is enough to make them feel safe (and make the changes that would be needed to be healthy and authentic). And so, I've ended the connection.
If you recognize this as a way that you operate (lying to yourself, afraid to face who you really are), and you wish to change, I encourage you to make the effort, face the fear, and do it....the end result of living a peaceful, happy, authentic life will be more than worth the effort!
Elise Fee is a Consulting Hypnotist and Life Mentor - her business "EliseOnLife" helps clients get a new lease on life -- http://www.EliseOnLife.com. Elise works with clients via private consultations, either in person or over the phone.